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Advanced Colonics of Orange County

Colon hydrotherapy with reflexology for digestion help


How to Get Rid of a Big Fat Beer Belly : What Makes Guys Look Pregnant?

Posted on September 8, 2013 at 12:12 AM Comments comments (4762)
Dear Happy Crapper, 
My husband used to be insanely hot--WHEN he was my boyfriend. But now, after we've been married for fifteen years, he looks like he is 9 months pregnant. He acts like it doesn't bother him, but I know he just doesn't want to deal with the fact that unlike me, who got rid of my big fat stomach by giving birth to a baby--not a FOOD BABY, an ACTUAL BABY--my husband still looks like he's ready to give birth any minute. No matter what he does, he cant get rid of that big round hard-as-a-rock stomach, no matter how many times he works out at the gym and how many crunches he does. Dude...that CAN'T be BEER! Is there any way he can get rid of his enormous stomach?  

Bitchy about Beer Belly

Dear Bitchy,
Sorry to hear about your formerly hot husband's growing gut. You're right about one thing, that fat round stomach is NOT all beer. What I'm about to say is pretty gross...but it's VERY important if you want your husband to be healthy and live a long life, and not drop dead on you if he drops his car keys and has an instant heart attack trying to pick them up off the floor.  I'll break it down for you.  
How does a guy get a big fat gut?  
A big round stomach (particularly on men, but woman can get it too) is caused by the colon getting congested with several pounds thick black rubbery intestinal plaque.  Plaque is caused when the colon gets dehydrated. The skin the colon is made of--the "tissues" does not squeeze out all of the poop when its dehydrated. It just squeezes half way. So when a person poops, not all of it comes out. The waste that is still sitting in the pockets of the colon becomes hard and sticks to the walls of the colon. It's thick and hard and rubbery, sort of like modeling clay or car tire rubber and does NOT come out in the toilet. It will NOT come out if a person takes a laxative.  If you try to get rid of plaque by taking metamusil or fiber products, it will just get stuck in there and make the gut BIGGER.  Anything you put into a dehydrated colon will get stuck in there, because it just won't squeeze all the way. 

Why is a beer belly rock hard and not soft? Fat is soft and you can pinch it. But a beer belly is not made of fat. The average person who has never had a colonic is walking around with 8 to 20 pounds of gunk in their colon. The gunk, the intestinal plaque is very acidic and poisonous. It causes the surrounding organs to swell up with fluid to protect themselves from this highly toxic stuff. If a colon gets punctured and that plaque gets into the blood stream, it usually kills a person instantly or they go into a coma. Its BAD the swelling will keep the person alive, even though it makes them look like they swallowed a bowling ball. 

Notice how the stomach is perfectly round, smoothe and hard? It's as if you blew up a water balloon. The fluid is called inflammation. 

How to Get Rid of Your Gut by Cleaning Your Colon
When your colon is full of gunk and inflamed, it expands and pushes your stomach up toward your lungs and your heart. It's hard to breathe when you have a gut, an you also can get high blood pressure because your stomach is bumping up toward your hearty, which puts a big strain on it. Thats also how a person can suddenly drop dead. Their heart just cant handle the pressure of being jammed by a stomach. When you get colon hydrotherapy, or colonics, the treatment cleans out the plaque and hydrates your colon so it can squeeze out ALL the waste again and not get all congested and full of gunk. 

You Can't re-hydrate a Congested Colon by Drinking Water alone
Drinking a ton of water will just cause you to pee more often and your liver to flood. The average person with a big fat beer belly is typically missing as much as 30 liters of water. The fastest and most effective way to replace missing water in the lining of the colon is by getting a colonic. If you have a fat gut and its making you miserable, the easiest way to get rid of it is by going on a a juice cleanse with colonics.  

I hope this helps!!
Yours Truly, 
Happy Crapper

How I Avoid Colon Cancer?

Posted on February 28, 2013 at 10:38 AM Comments comments (2101)
Dear Happy Crapper,
Recently my father passed away of colon cancer. To be honest, I'm freaked out that some day I'll get this horrible disease. Is colon cancer hereditary? What can I do to prevent myself from getting it? 
Your truly,
Dear Freaked.
You have every reason to be upset and worried about colon cancer not only because it's in your family but also because this disease is the number TWO cause of death in the United States--no pun intended! Colon cancer the second largest cause of death in the United States. The number ONE cause of death is heart disease.  
So how can you avoid getting a jacked up colon? This may sound all too simple of an answer to your question, but I do have a simple answer for you. KEEP THAT PUPPY CLEAN and HYDRATED.
What do I mean by that? Simply said, the colon is like a snake. It's five feet long and it is supposed to squeeze all the poop out when you have a bowel movement. That's why they call pooping a bowel MOVEMENT. However, if there's not enough water in the actual walls of your colon, it's not going to squeeze hard enough, and not all the waste will come out.
When the walls of your colon; the tissues don't have enough water content the colon gets congested and clogged it withholds waste and mucous. Then, with a clogged congested colon, the water level in the walls decrease and the pockets of your colon (the diverticula) get jammed up with nasty poisonous waste that eventually leaks into your blood stream and creates an acid environment in your organs, your blood and in your colon.  Cancer cells grow and multiply in an acid environment. Cancer cells die in an alkaline environment.
When the colon itself organ becomes low on water --it's a lot like the much the engine of your car doesn't run properly we it's low on oil. If your colon is gunked up with mucous, acid and plaque, you cant rehydrate yourself by simply drinking water. If the colon cant absorb water you'll simply drink a bunch of water and pee it out immediately.
A colonic does two things. A colonic replaces then missing water in the walls of your colon. Once your water level is where it should be, it will squeeze out all kind of nasty stuff that doesn't belong in there. A toxic colon is a perfect environment for cancel cell to develop.
Getting a colonic is pretty much the same as getting an oil change on your car. Top off the fluids and get out the gunk. Do it every season. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. Eat healthy and drink a reasonable amount of water, and your gut will stay  clean and healthy.
All Best,
 The Happy Crapper