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Advanced Colonics of Orange County

Colon hydrotherapy with reflexology for digestion help

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Why Am I Constipated?

Posted on October 26, 2012 at 3:14 PM
Dear Happy Crapper,
I eat really healthy, I drink water, I work out and I always make sure I have a sh*tload of veggies with my meals. All this stuff is supposed to make you go regularly, but at least twice a month I get constipated. What's up with that? I constantly feel like I have to go but nothing comes out!! Seems like the only time I feel like going is when I'm shopping. If it wasn't for public restrooms I'd be up sh*ts creek without a paddle. Can you tell me why I'm constipated even if I do all the right things?

Yours Truly,
Locked and Loaded

Dear Loaded,
Did you know that your colon is hard wired to your brain? There's a bunch of nerves and message centers that connect your gut to your brain. Your colon gives your brain messages like.."hey I need fuel! Go get something to eat! Or..HEY! Poop is coming down the pike! Head for the restroom!! Did you know that your colon is designed to physically "lock up" when your brain is busy strategizing, solving problems, trying to figure out the answers to something, or worrying?

The reason your colon "locks up" to stop the progress of poop coming down the pike is because a long long time ago before modern civilization and modern toilets, a person could lose their life while taking a dump. When the very first humans inhabited the earth, they didn't have a nice safe restroom where you can lock the door, relax and just let rip. They had to squat outside like everybody else on the food chain. And of course, if your out there in the open squatting and some animal or person tries to attack you while you're having a bowel movement, you can't put up your hand as say, "Hold your attack! I'm taking a crap!" No...you'd be very vulnerable if your colon insisted on finishing its business instead of locking up so you could run for your life and save yourself.

Well now, in modern society...our colon picks up those same "I need to handle something" brain waves, which generate a "control/fight/flight" impulse when we are stressed.  If you have a stressful job, or you're going through a move, relationship problem, loss of a loved one, parenting issues..or a huge learning curve ---don't be surprised if you get constipated. It's your colon locking up until you finish handling or resolving the urgent matter at hand.

So how do you "unlock" the colon? Colon hydrotherapy alone wont do that. In fact, you';d be very uncomfortable if a colon therapist tried to pump water into a locked up colon. In my business we call this a strictured colon. Reflexology directly on the abdomen dilates and activated the colon so it untangles and starts moving again. So if you're going through something like this....

Get a colonic
Breathe deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
Make sure you do something that's fun and doesn't involve your brain! (like...Dancing, sports, sex, laughter, socializing etc)
AVOID thinking about important stuff before going to sleep. If you review your "to do" list before bed, you'll go to sleep with a locked up colon. Believe me....the most important thing to do is to poop every day. If you don't it stays in your gut and your body starts feeling on its own waste...and then you'll literally feel like sh*t. 

All best,
The Happy Crapper


Categories: Why am I constipated?

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484 Comments

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12:07 AM on November 20, 2012 
Please beware of laxitives. Laxitives are BAD for your colon. Laxitives are designed to irritate the colon, and cause it to dump. A watery explosive bowel movement is not normal, folks. Even so called natural laxitives contain harsh herbs that irritate such as Senna And Cascara sagrada. Take digestive enzymes instead.
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